Having a tough time

I didn't want to be that mommy that dumps her kid off somewhere so I wouldn't have to look at her for another second, but well, the alternative would have been screaming and yelling and groundings and saying words I could never get back. So, I dropped her off at C's mom's house because of the special lock on the door, I figured she'd be safer.

Lately her attitude has been terrible. I get it her dad threw her away. She's going on 13. Her whole life's been flipped upside down. She's mad at the world, but I am working for below minimum wage so that she can continue her education at home. I expect her to put all of her anger and mixed emotions into her school work.....or hey! I'd settle for her just DOING her school work. 

I got up early today to check her week's work and low and behold the child did nothing...............NOTHING! Just gave herself the week off and ignored all assignments. Not only that but she's just stopped minding me all together. I love my girl but omgosh! I didn't like her much this morning. She yelled at me because I pointed out how she was acting like her dad (yeah I know I shouldn't have). She told me to stop comparing her to him.........and I swear she sounded just like him when she yelled that at me......UGH....

On a more serious note, just in case living in poverty and dwindling away the school hours doesn't seem serious, I took her new text phone away and while emptying her texts, found that she'd been talking to a 45yr old woman who tried many times to convince her that she had the wrong number. My kids friends? Not smart! They like to tease her and say she's talking to someone else so she just thought it was a game. I called the lady and apologized, glad to find it was a female! 

I'm not sure if my daughter will ever get her text phone back. 

I really, really, really need some prayer in all of this. I didn't exactly have an ideal example of how to be a mom and certainly not how to be a God fearing single mom!  

 Oh and that's not even mentioning the "offer" I got yesterday. A man 21yrs my senior wants to sleep with me to see if he's gay or not. He flashed his money and told me I'd be well set. 


For just a split second, as I discovered my daughter had placed our last meal with meat into the microwave and not the fridge (10hrs after she did), for maybe a half second I considered that offer...Seems its all I'm good for anyway :*(