~Feeling Happy~ & its been 3 wks

It's been three weeks since my husband decided he didn't want me anymore. I guess I expected myself to feel more devastated, but I don't. I've gotten through the past three weeks with the comfort and support of three friends that are dear to my heart, and a multitude of other online people who I'm acquainted with. I received more support and kind words than I could have imagined, and other than the mere fact that I had a near work-less week which means no pay at all, I'm feeling fine.


Afternoons to evenings have been the sad time for me. He's been on night shift so its strange to see him get up and see himself off to work. He never did that before except when I was on bed rest with our daughter or too sick to move! It's strange to see, and brings up sadness. 


Luckily, the hostility in the home has changed to a deafening quiet. This is partially because I've been ignoring him entirely and he's been watching me out of the corner of his eye to see what I'm on the computer so much for. Aside from chatting with some amazing friends this week, I, with the help of all of you, managed to cash out on both RG and Gather. Every little bit helps! Now, knowing those places' tract records of being slow on payouts, I'm hoping to cover my daughter's home school tuition out of the internet money and be able to somehow, some way, continue schooling her. 


I thought I had picked up a third job, but it was quickly reversed. Money is tight for everyone so its a tough time to be a care giver and house keeper. It's a tough time to be a "just starting out" writer also, but I did sell one book this week. That's always a celebration! I put a lot of myself into what I write and its an honor that anyone would want to read my words. 


I guess to sum this up, its been  3 weeks since he broke my heart, and for the first time, this past week, I didn't hear my heart breaking any longer. It's shattered, sure, as the song goes, it wasn't whole to start with. The initial sound of the crashing glass, has been replaced with a soft, sweet, humming of feeling happy, really, really happy! Still scared, still so uncertain, still losing my marriage, but feeling happy about where this year will lead.