Day 1 "home sweet home" - I feel like crying -

Today was a rough one, or has been so far, its still going. I got a late start on going to the trailer to clean. My daughter didn't make it home from a sleep over until nearly 8am and we were planning to leave at 7. 


I went to the store this morning and thought I'd treat myself to a breakfast bowl, only once I got it home I realized I'd picked up just gravy. I knew I needed a big breakfast for this day and I just didn't feel like having another egg so I decided to go buy a gravy biscuit. It was then that my stbx told me I should save my money. I became furious and told him not to dare advise me about anything because this is all his fault. 


I bought my breakfast and headed to the lake to eat it in peace. Then as I sat watching the ducks and listening to the radio, the car over heated. After breakfast I decided to take a brisk walk and let the car cool. (It's a slow leak, nothing more can be done without major repairs)...As I walked quickly trying to find some calm, the mom of the girl Ang stayed with called to say she didn't know about our plans and was sending her home. 


The car cooled. I went back, gave Ang the other biscuit, gathered our stuff and left. Now, I can't fully describe the extent of how bad this trailer is. It's hellish. Imagine all things gross and in some cases  toxic and you have my day. A horrible reminder of my upbringing! 


I just kept thinking, this is all I'm worth to him, the man I dedicated my entire life to. This is what he thinks of me?


Anyway, we worked 5 hours and barely scraped the surface. 


Here's the before: 

Took 2 and half hours just to clean the fridge. The upper freezer was toxic and horrible. There were critters everywhere! Layers of grease. Just really, really BAD. I did surface cleaning. The cabinets above the fridge are cleaned and I vacuumed off and wiped down the counter (yeah you read that right). I know one drawer is gone, I haven't dared to open anymore or any of the lower cabinets. The kitchen was just disgusting! And the living room was just nasty. So we worked and worked and Ang worked on her room a little bit. 


Here's the after:

Penny was finally able to touch the floor. Up until then she'd been crated for her own protection. That's as far as we got before we were too sore to move so we called it a day. Starting back on it tomorrow. 


Tomorrow's Goals:
see how bad the cabinets and drawers are and do what I can with them. 


finish cleaning the stove 


clean the air conditioner unit and blinds 


hand scrub the kitchen floor, repeat until really really clean


probably have to go back over the living room again as more critters meet their demise


I rushed home to take a hot shower. I really, really tried to cry but tears just will not come. I think I've gone into shock at how my baby and I are going to be living for a while. 


My everything hurts, I'm going to lie down for a while and try not to think about that place! 


P.S - none of the windows work! I've lost everything including my right to fresh air :'( I think I want some ice cream........