I'm tired, but happy. As I mentioned, I accomplished quite a bit yesterday and for once I didn't believe I'd done well only to have him crush me with his words of how terrible I am. Nope, I just did well and it ended there. :)
There is truly nothing on my agenda today! I have a load of laundry to fold and a chicken to roast for my girl and I to eat on for a few days. To tell the truth, with him taking over all the cooking and cleaning, I'm going to need to find a hobby soon or go stir crazy waiting for the next 6 months. He's counting where we live as his and doesn't want us doing anything other than cleaning up after ourselves and borrowing his washer and dryer. {rolling eyes} I'm just going along with it....God willing 6 more months.....
Financially speaking*** Seeing how I was injured and out of work for so long, and then everything I earned after that was pretty much small bills, groceries, birthdays, and Christmas money.....I'm starting from scratch on how to be financially responsible. Following the Dave Ramsey books I bought myself for Christmas, I am 30% into Baby Step #1. Not terribly impressive, but....it's a start.
Once I start back to work next week, I could complete Baby Step #1 in just one month. Then it would be onto #2 which is to pay off all debts. For me, that leaves a $380 doctor bill that I've been paying on for what seems like forever, but I'm starting to see glimpses of the finish line now that I'm working my online and 2 offline jobs. After that my plan, which I see actually lines up with Baby Step #3 and gives me some encouragement that I might be doing this right, is 3-6 months of living expenses. However, I plan to achieve 1 year's worth of living expenses before we move out of "his" apartment in July.
Basically, I'm up early, rambling in my head, on paper, and now on this blog, trying to work all of these worries out into smaller concerns so I'm not feeling so overwhelmed. It's working. So, along with figuring money, I've also been working on dates. With my baby's daddy working 5 shifts, it makes regular visitation schedules difficult to follow. He basically said "I'll see her whenever you want me to". Wow! How loving a statement.......
I shouldn't be surprised. He wasn't interested in her until she was 5 years old. Then we separated until she was 7 and he hardly said a word to her. Then he's spent maybe 3 good quality days out with her and played UNO for a few weeks until he bored with it. Gee....So I'm not really stressing too much, okay I am stressing, but not too much about the whole "every other weekend" thing. He may not want her every other weekend. She might cramp his freedom too! ---------oh my, is my frustration starting to show?
I'm checking on an apartment today. I'll write about that when I know more. Can't really think of anything else at this particular time....Oh but I will share something from the book I'm reading, "But I Didn't Want a Divorce".
"This is a new day, and I can make it a great day. I'm going to look for opportunities to change what I can, in order to make it an even greater day. I will not let circumstances control me; with God's help, I will control them. And once I have discharged my responsibility to make something of my life, I will let God take care of what I cannot change."
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