DEAR GOD that hurt!!!

My daughter and I have just arrived back from staying with my soon to be x-mother-n-law. We went down on Thursday, visited her mother who's in the hospital, looked at lights, and just tried to remain calm. It wasn't easy. MIL kept reminded me of my worries. She means well of course but could I not just get through this last Christmas or what's left of it without all the tears and worries? Guess not...

Anyway, Bunny was excited about Christmas morning and she expressed her excitement to her granny who then said she had to wait until noon Christmas to see her gifts. Bunny politely reminded her that she had lots of presents under the tree. Then MIL said something about yeah she had the little gifts mom got her but she'd have to wait until noon to see what her aunt had. ---uhhh ouch---standing right here...

Anywho, Bunny loved her Christmas gifts from mom and mom loved her Christmas gifts from Bunny. I was really doing okay until he arrived. Bunny played with her dad for a few minutes and then we all headed out in separate vehicles to visit his great granny. Awkward is a word you could use here but it still would not adequately explain how standing in that hospital room with my soon to be x-husband, felt. 

Sooooo after I survived the meal, presents, and his loading my car, we headed out in separate vehicles. There was 1 main exit ramp I'm not sure about on getting back home. He agreed to let me follow him so I would know the way, then proceeded to run a yellow light, leaving me to fend for myself! 

Once home, he tried to talk to me. I don't want to hear his voice. I truly  loved this guy and he treats me like I'm dead to him. I finally just snapped and told him I don't know what he wants from me. I can't just talk to him because for one side, the past 13yrs have been built upon love, not lies. 

He then said, "once upon a time it was love, now its all just one big business transaction"

Can one die of a broken heart? I'm not feeling so well.....