Today was Angela's first visit with her daddy. He swung by and handed me a $25 gift certificate while talking to his divorce lawyer on the phone. I put the money in my bag because I didn't want the boys I care for to get a hold of it.
"That is for Angela by the way. Just for your information."
It was as if he were insinuated I was stealing from my child. Then he turned to her and said "That money is yours. Your mom just put it in her bag but its your money!"
I shared some not so nice words with him, quietly so the boys wouldn't hear me and he took her across the street and bought her breakfast. They were back within 20 minutes time and that's it for the next two weeks or whenever its convenient.
Oh and he made an appointment with the lawyer that I can only go to if I take a day off of work. I think I'll just take the week and look for a higher paying job. Things aren't working out here and with Angela being screamed at by a 3 year old, having things thrown at her, hit, kicked, he even tried to bite her, its just not worth the stress. Not sure why the issues, but today I have made certain she doesn't so much as speak to the 3yr old and he still finds ways to be not so nice. Most recently he wiped his nose and threw the dirty tissue on her. I feel bad for my kid. I wouldn't want to be dragged to a place where I was treated ugly so I feel bad bringing her but I have no safe place to leave her and she's still determined not to go to public school. It's looking like she won't have a choice by March.
There's a lot of other things going on that I don't talk about with anyone. Some anniversaries that stay locked away in the back of my mind. My health isn't great but Medicaid hasn't gone through yet so I'm not sure what exactly is going on. Things are rough, really rough, and though it saddens me to hear that I'm not being a good friend, I can't seem to do anything but focus on surviving and getting through this without it destroying my daughter.
I certainly can't think about the things that FOUR different guys wanted me to think about. I had to sever all communication with everyone of them this week. Let's just say the phone rings a lot less now but I'm sure they'll find someone who's into stuff like that.
I'm too sick with worry to talk to anyone anyway.
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